Be MORE MINDFUL Every Day by Listening to Your Senses w/ Rachael KableAug 17, 2021
Welcome to episode 7 of the Mindful & Driven podcast! It’s all about how to not lose sight of what really matters whilst chasing your dreams.
Episode 7’s guest is one of the nicest people I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to – Rachael Kable. She’s a mindfulness coach, the author of The Mindful Kind book, the host of the Mindful Kind Podcast, and an award-winning blogger. Her podcast attracts tens and thousands of people each week. She delivers solo episodes where she walks people through different mindfulness exercises that she believes would help them tackle everyday struggles.
It’s quite rare that she jumps in an interview so I’m really proud to bring her on to the podcast today and to share her insights with you.
I hope you enjoy listening to our conversation! I’d love it if you could subscribe, leave me a review and follow me on social channels.
- You can find all my work and socials here: http://amardeep.co
- Download my free Anti-Burnout Toolkit here: http://antiburnout.mindfuldriven.com
- United for Global Mental Health: https://unitedgmh.org/mental-health-support
- Find more about Rachael: https://www.rachaelkable.com/
- Follow her on Twitter: https://twitter.com/rachaelkable
- Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachaelkable/?hl=en
Topics discussed in this episode:
- How to be more mindful.
- Why it’s important to absorb as much knowledge as you can.
- What are the easy and effective mindfulness exercises you can do every day.
- How to be more mindful in the age of constant distraction.
- Why it’s important to pay attention to your sense.
- How to find balance between life and business.
- Breathing exercises that help you relax and live in the present moment.
- Introduction (0:00)
- Fake it until you make it? (2:32)
- Toxic relationships (4:15)
- I was that guy. (9:13)
- We teach people how to treat us (18:16)
- Striving for harmony (21:07)
- Time blocking (26:39)
- Purpose, autonomy, and mastery (30:00)
[00:00:00] Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. There’s heaps. So we learned lots of different breathing techniques and the mindfulness sensors game, which is where you notice five things you can see four things, you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. So that’s just a really like simple mindfulness kind of fun thing that people can do, but the breathing techniques
[00:00:25] Amardeep: Welcome to the Mindful and Driven Podcast, where we help you to not lose sight of what’s really important whilst chasing your dreams. Today’s guest is one of the nicest people. I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to – Rachael Kable. She’s a mindfulness coach, the author of The Mindful Kind book, the host of the Mindful Kind Podcast, and an award-winning blogger. Her podcast is listened to by tens and thousands of people each week. She gives solo episodes where she walks people through different mindfulness exercises that she believes would help them tackle everyday struggles. It’s quite rare that she jumps in an interview so I’m really proud to bring her on to the podcast today and to share her insights with you.
I hope you enjoy listening to our conversation. Welcome Rachael. It’s great to have you.
[00:00:59] Rachel: How are you? Thank you so much for having me.
[00:01:01] Amardeep: Rachael’s on the other side of the world to me. So they’ve just kind of locked down in Australia right now, so congratulations.
[00:01:07] Rachel: Thank you. I know we’re just really taking it one day at a time and it’s getting close to seven o’clock now, so I’m starting to wind down for the day and feeling a bit more relaxed.
[00:01:17] Amardeep: Yeah. Listening to your podcast, Mindful Kind. You’ve been doing it for so long and you’re putting up your weekly content, what are some common advice you disagree but you’ve seen quite often?
[00:01:25] Rachel: Yeah. So that’s a great question. I think for me, some of the advice that I’ve seen around, like you have to color inside the lines, or you have to be perfect or you have to be always achieving the next big thing. I find that kind of advice, quite limiting and quite restrictive and I think for me personally, because I did grow up with a lot of those rules and I’m completely a rule follower, it really limited my growth. That limited my curiosity. And I found myself just feeling stressed and overwhelmed and pressured to constantly be trying to fit inside the mold. And I think that what this kind of pressure can do is that not only does it create stress and anxiety, but it stops people from exploring and experimenting and having fun and being playful and all these really cool things that like add zest and excitement into life. And so when I say that kind of advice around, you know, just hustle until you get to the next thing and make sure that you’re perfect and you have to achieve things all the time. And I don’t know, it kind of frustrates me because I think it limited me so much for such a long time and I think people have so much more, more potential when they do color outside the lines.
[00:02:38] Amardeep: Is there anything at the moment that you’re coloring outside the lines on?
[00:02:41] Rachel: Yeah, lots of things, actually. I’m just about to create a webinar, which is a long way out of my comfort zone. Again, I’m a bit of a recovering perfectionist, so it’s taken a long time to get to this point and I still feel like I do try really hard to do things to the letter and to do things right the first time around. But I know in, we’ve been talking a little bit before this recording as well about dancing into my, kind of my journey with all of that, and so I’m trying to do some more things that add fun into my life and just for the heck of having some fun, like whether it is dancing or going for a walk. Like. I find that when I want to do something in my life, I’ll just start setting goals around it and setting rules around it. Like, if I’m like, oh, maybe I’ll, I’ll stop running. Like I’ll get into running. I’m kind of excited about it. It’s like, all right, well, I’m going to be running straight Ks every day and I’m going to time it so that I can beat my previous best time. And it just becomes this really limiting, restrictive thing. So I am trying to do that a bit less and just do things just because they bring enjoyment or fun or curiosity or playfulness into my life.
[00:03:49] Amardeep: You’ve mentioned to me before how you are a very high level dancer when you were a teenager and you did great, you did exams. You were like really into it, but then when you entered university then, you kind of lost that enjoyment because you felt so much pressure to keep up with other people around you. Right?
[00:04:04] Rachel: Yeah, exactly. I just felt like I, I lost the, I don’t know. I liked it because I was really good at it for a long time, and then when I got put into this kind of new situation where I wasn’t very good at it anymore, and I didn’t feel like I was a great dancer anymore. It kind of challenged that belief that I had around myself and it made me really uncomfortable and I didn’t want to be a person that felt like I was struggling all the time and that, you know, everyone was looking at me thinking that I was a failure and I couldn’t do it, and I couldn’t remember the steps, and I just, I got so in my head that it became a completely unenjoyable experience and I quit for like 10 years. And I’ve only just really recently started getting back into it, just doing online dance classes in my lounge room, in my pajamas with my dogs watching me. And they’re like, now it’s kind of this funny experience where I’m just doing it because I, it boosts my energy and it makes me feel really good and I have fun. Yeah. And that’s what it’s all about. Isn’t it? It’s the whole point of dancing. Yeah, exactly. You want to have fun with it.
[00:05:05] Amardeep: It kind of all hit at university, right?
Where you moved to Melbourne, a new city, and you’ve mentioned how you kind of struggled in a few different areas at this point, and I’d like to hear a little bit more about that and how you managed to kind of figure yourself out again and realign.
[00:05:19] Rachel: Yeah, definitely. So I really felt quite overwhelmed during that whole period in my life. When I had just moved out of home, I was trying to work to pay the rent and just being responsible for maintaining a home, like all those little jobs and paying the bills and things like that. There was just a lot of change and a lot of responsibility in a short amount of time. And I was volunteering on a helpline at an anxiety recovery center. I’m trying to keep up with all my classes. I was studying psychology and there were lots of exams and assignments and things like that, so I felt like there was a lot happening externally in my life, but there was also a lot happening internally and I was really stressed and I was overwhelmed. And so I felt out of balance just because I was constantly worrying about being good enough and trying to keep up with everyone else and trying to look like I was happy on the outside. When I felt like I was really, really struggling. And I sort of tried to realign myself by completely over-correcting and just basically I finished my studies. I quit my job. I launched my online business. Like even though I didn’t really have a business at that stage. And I really thought like, you know, this is the key I’ve had so much happening for so long. I’m going to work on my mental health and then just have all this space and all this time, and it was really interesting because as soon as I had all this space and all this time, I just completely lost all my energy and I lost all my, my sense of purpose. And so I sort of had this really intense experience and then I kind of switched and over-corrected and had this other really weird, intense experience. And then since then, I’ve just. Slowly building my life back up in terms of listening to what feels good and really just being intentional about how I spend my time and noticing how I feel as well, because being an introvert, I only have so much social energy to give. And so if I’m doing lots of interviews in a week and I’ve got lots of clients all through the days, I find myself feeling really depleted, you know, I just listened a bit more to how I actually feel and make some decisions based on that, but also try to make sure that I’m challenging myself. Like, I don’t want to just get too comfortable and be like, you know, this is all I’m comfortable with, and this is how it’s going to be from now on. It’s like, okay, I feel comfortable, so how can I maybe push myself a little bit in a different area so I can keep growing.
[00:07:45] Amardeep: One thing that’s really interesting to me, as you mentioned, how you help people in a helpline about anxiety, at the same time as you experiencing anxiety yourself. At the time, were you aware of that like kind of paradox or was it only after that you can see that? Oh, wait, I was anxious myself, but I was in almost denial and I was helping other people without realizing that way I’m experiencing the exact same feeling some of my patients are experiencing.
[00:08:09] Rachel: Yeah. It was a really interesting experience. So I guess my main motivation behind studying psychology in the first place was that I felt a lot of stress and anxiety all through my childhood and my teenage years and I felt like I got kind of good at masking it and kind of squashing it down and I’m still overachieving and doing all these things on the outside that made me feel like I was kind of winning a little bit, I guess, and but, I knew that I couldn’t leave my whole life like that. I knew that something had to change, which was why I wanted to study psychology. Understand my own mind, did it better. And I did eventually want to be helping people as well. But it took a little bit of time before I felt like I was really ready for that. I think I was still quite early on in my journey then. And it was really great because I learned a lot and I spoke to a lot of people who had very similar experiences, but also some had very, very different and quite challenging experiences. And so it really opened my eyes in a lot of different ways to how we all feel anxiety and stress differently, but there are lots of commonalities as well, and there’s lots of different techniques that we can use to manage it. And then really I started the podcast, not all that long afterwards, because I thought, you know, I’m learning all these great things and I just want to share them. I just want to empower more people with these things that are really making a big difference for me. Yeah, so it was, it was an interesting thing because I did know on the inside that I was quite as stressed and anxious person, but I think as well, I found a lot of value in helping other people too, because it made me feel good about myself and it gave me all these opportunities to learn the things that I needed to learn.
[00:09:42] Amardeep: Do you have any particular times where you talk to somebody on a health line and what they said really resonated with you, and it kind of changed your opinion on things where the tips you kind of gave them, you’re like, oh wow, that’s a really good tip. I’m going to use this in my own life.
[00:09:55] Rachel: Yeah, well, it was more of a training for me. Like we spent quite a lot of time doing training before we actually started answering the helplines and that was actually where I first learned about mindfulness and started implementing it just because I wanted to learn how to, how to actually practice it in a way that felt meaningful because it didn’t make a lot of sense to me at first. And obviously like when people call up, they often just want someone to listen, someone to talk to and to create that non judgmental space. But sometimes they would ask like, oh, is there anything that you think might help in this situation? And so I had all these different techniques and things that I was practicing in my own life because I wanted to see how they worked and be able to explain them and really understand them thoroughly before I shared them. So yeah, there were lots of really interesting, really powerful conversations. And I still go back through my journal cause I took notes back when I was still volunteering there and yeah, it really was. very, very transformative time.
[00:10:55] Amardeep: It sounds like it and it’s great that you able to help so many people as well. Is there any of those techniques that you’re still using in your life today that you learned from that training?
[00:11:03] Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. There’s heaps. So we learned lots of different breathing techniques and the mindfulness sensors game, which is where you notice five things you can see four things, you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. So that’s just a really like simple mindfulness kind of fun thing that people can do, but the breathing techniques. I’ve really done a lot of studies since then cause I found the couple of breathing techniques that I did learn, like the breathing waltz, which is where you breathe in for three, hold for three, and breathe out the three. And then repeat that. I found them really, really powerful and really effective. And so I’ve learned lots of other breathing techniques just because I learned those one or two back then that were really quite helpful. And I thought, wow, this is amazing. Like there must be others out there and so I just dove into everything that I could find.
[00:11:51] Amardeep: And you might know more about this than I do, but from what I’ve read about is where a lot of the breathing techniques and how they’re effective is to try to have it where there’s more time where you’re breathing out or holding a breath, than when you’re breathing in. So a lot of the kind of schedules are based on that. So you’ve got like the [unintelligible] that you mentioned there, you’ve got the box breath, which is 4, 4, 4. You’ve got the, I can’t remember the name of it’s called now, but it’s the 4-7-8, and 4-7-8, is where it’s breathing in for four, holding for seven, breathing out for eight, which even as I’ve done yoga for quite few years, myself now, breathing out for eight seconds feels like a very long time. So I like the walk on that you mentioned, because I think that’s very achievable for a lot of people. Pretty much everybody can manage to breathe out for three seconds and hold for three seconds. And then you can kind of progress as you get more and more power of your diet from in your lungs. You have to really hold that for a long time.
[00:12:43] Rachel: Yeah, definitely. Well, one of the reasons why that 3-3-3 exercise does work well is, you know, sometimes people will be calling up and they might be panicking. Like they might be having quite an overwhelming, stressful experience. And so you do need something that’s quite simple and easy enough to achieve, but you’re right. Like all these different techniques can have different effects as well. So the ones where you do have a longer exhale can be really powerful in triggering that relaxation response. And so that can be really helpful if like you’re winding down at nighttime and then you’ve got mindful breathing where you’re not really aiming to change your breathing pattern at all. It’s just observing it. Like there’s so many different ways that you can actually practice breathing techniques to kind of achieve little different things.
[00:13:25] Amardeep: I think when I was growing up, there’s so much focus on breathing in and it’s only in the last year or so, I’ve been reading a bit more or so, Breath by James Nestor and that’s one of the podcasts I listen to that it’s actually exhale, which is more effective in relaxing. You can correct me if I get this wrong, but the breathing in is to kind of pump us up, whereas breathing out is what relaxes us as to the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. And I think in the past, whenever I’ve been stressed out, when I was younger, I used to try to really breathe in deeply, which is probably actually making things worse. Whereas, what I should be doing is trying to exhale, and that relaxes you, but I’m sure there’s, whoever’s listening today might have the same misconception. So I had the wrong impression for majority of my life.
[00:14:05] Rachel: That’s so interesting, isn’t it like as he just learned all these little things and start to develop all that understanding and awareness like that for me was why I love doing what I do. Like I love reading the research and reading different studies and different books and listening to podcasts and just getting as much knowledge as I can because you never know when you’re going to find something that’s going to really make a positive or a meaningful impact in your life. And it’s just being open to learning all these different things and, and, and implementing them. And then sometimes having the chance to share them as well. So cool.
[00:14:35] Amardeep: Hi everyone. I hope you’re enjoying the episode so far. I want to take a quick break to ask you to check in with yourself. There’s many people struggling with balance and it’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s tips that my guests might share can hopefully help you along the way, but if you already feel overwhelmed or burnt out, it’s probably best that you ask somebody for help too. For some, this might be a friend or family member, while others might feel like they have nobody they can talk to. If you’re one of these people, check out the link in the show notes, it’s for United for Global Mental Health. They’ve got health plans all across the world, with people willing to listen on the other side. It’s important to let somebody know how you’re feeling. Now, back to the show.
What’s happening in your life at the moment? So I know you’re working in lots of different things. You’ve got your book, you’ve got your podcast. You’ve got your online courses. Like, are you at the moment where you feel like your balance is in order? Are you struggling with anything in particular?
[00:15:25] Rachel: I do have days sometimes where it feels, I think I’m so in tune now with when I feel like I’m getting a bit unbalanced and a bit overwhelmed, it’s, it’s very obvious now. I’ll notice that I’m waking up before my alarm goes off and just kind of lying there and thinking, and I’m having to draw on those mindfulness techniques or breathing techniques a little bit more. So I feel like I kind of balance things out a little bit now where it’s like, oh, I’m feeling quite stressed and overwhelmed. Okay. I need to implement a little bit more self care and use some of these stress management techniques. And I think I’m getting a lot better at identifying those times, but I mean, even right now, we’re going through a lot of changes, so my I’m really hoping to buy our first house in the next couple of months and so we’ve really been focusing the last, especially the last year on saving and budgeting and taking on as much work as we kind of can keep up with. Just to get to that next goal. So I find that sometimes I’m like, oh, you know what? We need to have a bit more fun. Like we need to have a bit more playfulness. Like things are a bit serious at the moment. Let’s just take a bit of a break and go for a walk and grab a coffee. And, you know, just, I think sometimes, I do find it hard to prioritize fun and that’s something that I would like to get a little bit better at.
[00:16:39] Amardeep: What kind of hours do you work at the moment? Do you have any rough ideas?
[00:16:42] Rachel: Yeah, it’s a little bit all over the place, really at the moment. I sort of try to do five or six hours on the business if I’m working from home during the day, and then, if I’m working, so I also have a part-time job at the moment. I’m just at a local clothing boutique, which is lots of fun and I meet lots of really interesting people. I’m usually just there one or two days a week. So it’s really nice just to kind of get out of the house. Have a bit of a break. Do something a bit different and challenges me because being an introvert, I could very happily just stay at home all the time and not have these conversations. And so it’s nice to go home and actually just talk to people and have those interactions and challenge myself that little bit to go outside my comfort zone. But you know, I do feel like I love a lot of the routines that I have at home now. So I try to make sure I get some exercise or do some dancing and have time to meditate. And I take my dogs out three times a day, so they can have like a proper play and a bit of a walk and, and things like that. And I love cooking. So I don’t know. There’s lots of different things that I do fit into my everyday life that nourish me and make me feel really good. So I think I’m pretty happy with the balance I have at the moment, but some days, you know, some days are just trickier than others.
[00:17:54] Amardeep: I like that we mentioned the, so you’ve got the part-time job as well. I think a lot of people, when they think about going into, doing their own business or tracking out their own, they feel like it has to be all or nothing, where they have to be completely dedicated to themselves or they work a job. Whereas, I know a few [unintelligible] doing a similar kind of thing of, they work a couple of days for somebody else, but that gives them the kind of stability in a way as well because like you said, when you’re doing your own thing, it can’t be all over the place cause there’s so many different ideas all the time. That’s one thing I’m considering maybe in the future where, maybe I do have one or two days where I’m doing something a bit more structured for somebody else as well. Did you always do that or did you introduce that again recently?
[00:18:32] Rachel: Yeah, I’ve gone back and forth a little bit. So when I first started my online business, I went full time into doing the business and trying to grow it and just found that I lost that sense of purpose. And I went back to my old job working in admin. So I was there three days a week, but I found that being in front of the computer at both my jobs was just too much screen time and I wasn’t getting enough of that variety. So when I moved back to my hometown, I started working at a local pharmacy, which was where I worked out before I actually moved away. And it was really nice just to kind of get back into the community as well, because living in a small town, you know, it’s nice to, it’s nice to just build up those relationships a little bit. And then things started getting really busy in the business again. So I went full time back into that. And I just found that, you know, I love it, but sometimes I just lose track of the days and you feel like it’s just a never-ending groundhog day. Like even though you’re doing different things every day, it’s just, you need to sometimes have that life purpose to get out and do something different. And it’s nice almost working for someone else and being like, you know what? They make the decisions. I just follow what they say. It can be easier sometimes. I don’t know. Maybe I was not so much made to be an online business entrepreneur. I just kind of fell into it. It actually, wasn’t really intentional and I’ve yeah, I just kind of listened to what feels good along the way and try and figure it out as best I can.
[00:19:51] Amardeep: I think it’s really important that you shift around and you change things up where sometimes people are so dedicated to, I’ve quit my job, I need to become an entrepreneur, I’m going to do it no matter what. Whereas, sometimes it’s not so busy or sometimes you want the interaction or the structure. It’s okay to have a part-time job too. You don’t like to lose any entrepreneurial brownie points for doing that. What would like a successful lifestyle look for you in the future? What’s the kind of ideal lifestyle.
[00:20:14] Rachel: Yeah. So I think for me, what’s really important is feeling like I’m connected with my meaningful work. So I do really love what I’m doing at the moment, but I think if I was to go into it, full-time I would want to have more of a team around me. I think that just doing it all on your own sometimes gets draining and tiring and can be quite lonely. So I think that’s what I’ve really noticed with having the part-time job is that I need to be having those interactions with other people. And if I was to go full-time into the business, that’s something I need to honor. I think as well, just having that connection in my relationships and feeling like I’ve got a really nice social calendar, because again, being an introvert, I find it very easy to kind of switch off and forget to nourish those relationships, and then I get a few months down the track and I’m like, oh, I feel pretty down. I feel kind of lonely. I feel isolated. And then it’s like, oh, well, no wonder. I haven’t really spoken to anybody in a while except for my partner and my dogs. And so there’s that. And then also just having that fun and the creativity in my life as well, like trying different things, reading books, listening to podcasts. Really having that time and space to slow down and have fun and do the things that are meaningful to me.
[00:21:19] Amardeep: Yeah. That’s great. And I think there’s quite a scenario about the introvert side of things, because online, I think there’s a lot of introverts because it’s probably stereotypical for people who are introverts, to be posting online rather than interacting in the real world.
Maybe. So I’ve seen it in comments where a lot of people who are writing online, they’re talking about introverts and it’s not necessarily something which is so strictly defined. Like some people might have some tendencies or sometimes they enjoy being with other people, and sometimes they don’t and it’s, they said, they’re like, even though you’re an, you identify as an introvert, it doesn’t mean that you don’t want to talk to people because that does add value to your life too. So I think it’s important that people don’t just follow like a label about I’m this, so therefore I need to live my life like this. You kind of have the best of both worlds a lot of the time.
[00:22:03] Rachel: Yeah, definitely. And you know, every time I do one of those, like Myers-Briggs personality tests, I’m always very strongly an introvert, but I feel like over the last couple of years, I’ve really, I don’t know. I’ve, I’ve really started to prioritize all those relationships and friendships in particular because I used to just let those fizzle out and I find that I get actually really quite excited when I get to talk to people and it’s energizing and it’s refreshing and I love it, but I guess it is the introvert in me that afterwards, I kind of questioned it a little bit. I need some time to recover and some time in my orange process. And yeah, I completely agree actually, too, with what you said before about sometimes introverts, find it a bit easier to show up online. I know for myself, that’s definitely true. I, even with my podcast, I get to think very carefully about what I want to say, and I get to choose when I do and don’t show up. So I feel like there’s a lot less pressure than in actual real life social settings. But I think those settings are really important as well, whether you’re an introvert or not because loneliness is such a, such a, potentially problematic thing and can lead to poorer well-being and I think that it’s important for all of us to feel connected in some kind of meaningful way with someone. When I was listening to a podcast or reading a book or something recently, it was, can’t remember what it was exactly, but it was some kind of research about how five or 10 years ago, the number of people in the US that they felt like they had close friendships with. And the number was five. And now more commonly the number is zero. So people feel very disconnected, I think, in this world where we’re more connected than ever, you know. Maybe it was more than five or 10 years ago, they they first got that first number from, I’m probably getting it completely wrong, but that’s the idea basically, is that we are living in such a connected world right now about where just we’re not connected as much as we think that we are.
[00:24:01] Amardeep: Yeah. And I remember seeing it somewhere where loneliness is actually a bigger factor in mortality than anything else. Like it’s a bigger predictor then smoking or drinking or diabetes or anything like that because, and I think we we’ve heard the stories right, of people where they’ve been married for 60 years, 70 years, and then both of them passed away quite within a short space of time. And I think in the kind of modern world where we focus on followers, or we focus on prestige, don’t forget like the importance of just having someone you can talk to because you can do all of the kinds of fitness stuff in the world but if you’ve got someone who you trust and you talk to and you foster that relationship, that could do better.
[00:24:38] Rachel: Yeah, it’s really, it’s quite amazing. And I think we’re social creatures and we forget sometimes, or our life, our modern life isn’t built to allow for these really deep and meaningful and regular connections. It is kind of built on, you know, we’re all trying to compete with each other and trying to get ahead and trying to, you know, appear like we’re perfect when we’re all just human beings, and I think, yeah, definitely leaning more on that connection and having those, meaningful relationships is really important.
[00:25:11] Amardeep: Along those lines, is there a mindset shift you think the listeners could make that would make their lives happier and make a positive impact?
[00:25:19] Rachel: Yeah, definitely. So I think that, kind of along those similar lines, this there’s a bit of a mindset, I think, where people are like, you know what I need to always be achieving and getting to the next thing and I need to be perfect or I need to appear perfect on Instagram or something like that, but I really think that a different mindset is, you know, what lights me up or what actually brings me real joy in my everyday life? What can I do that adds value to other people’s lives? How can I be kinder? Like asking these questions to figure out what makes you feel genuinely happy or grateful or joyful or excited about life? Like, I think. That can be a really important thing to do, rather than just focusing on how can I get to the next goal or how can I achieve the next thing? It’s just taking the time to look at your everyday life and, what do I already have and how can I appreciate that? And bring more of those everyday joys into my life.
[00:26:18] Amardeep: Yeah. And we talked about this before, about how we’re both kind of leaving things on the table. If you want to profit maximize our lives, then we get in way more money if we wanted to, but like we’re both doing well enough, so then to me, you said the time is not more important than the money. So if I’m going to be working longer hours, then it’s that trade off and I’d rather reduce my hours and like how to maximize that time and be very focused at that time. So they’ve got more of the other time to spend with the people that I love and the people who I want to spend time with and get to know new people and have new experiences because when I’m old, I’m not going to care about like how much I earn, not at this age and if I’m earning a million, like who cares? But I am going to remember those moments I had did the people around me.
[00:27:08] Rachel: Yeah, definitely. I feel like I’m getting into that older age. I would love to have people love me and support me. And so I love and support back. And I think that really is, to me, that’s more important than having lots of money. You know, you need some money to be comfortable and to have the things that you need, but more than that, I don’t know if it’s that important.
[00:27:35] Amardeep: And obviously It’s the different levels. You need enough, that you can have everything you need, but if you keep increasing at once and you’re never going to have enough, It’s that balance of like, is this expensive new thing that I want, do I want to spend my time working to get that or to rather not get that, and instead go with my friends and instead like spend time with my family or whatever it is you want to do. And it’s that kind of trade off, which I think maybe sometimes people don’t make in their heads that because I want this new thing or because I’m chasing the highest salary that I’m sacrificing friends and family for that. When you say it like that, is that actually something he wants to do or is it just, you’re in a hamster wheel and you keep going, even though when you just take a step back, you don’t agree with that stance?
[00:28:25] Rachel: Yeah, again, I think there’s just those intentional choices that we can make or not make, you know, and we just, yeah, I think we can always come back at the end of the day to what’s something that I can choose to do today that’s going to add more meaning or more value into my life and those around me.
[00:28:43] Amardeep: It’s been a pleasure to talk to you Rachael. Where can the person listening today hear more from you?
[00:28:48] Rachel: Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. It’s been so much fun. Yeah, so anyone can go over to my website at rachaelkable.com. You’ll find my podcast there. My books there. My blog. Everything. It’s basically there, and then you can find the Mindful Kind podcast on, or your regular podcasting apps or Spotify and iTunes and everything like that too. So, yeah, but feel free to come and say hello as well. I’m on social media. So just let me know that you listened to this interview and let me know what you thought, and I love to connect and say, hello.
[00:29:18] Amardeep: One thing I realized, as I said, You’re based in Australia but you’ve actually got very strong listenership in the UK as well, so you’re quite high up the ranking and it’s amazing just how you’ve got this global reach now.
[00:29:28] Rachel: I honestly don’t know how it happened. It’s, yeah, the podcast has done really well in Australia and the UK and the US and I think, you know, I, I did put in the work for a long time but I think there must’ve been some crazy luck involved because I didn’t do that intentionally. It just sort of happened and made it into the charts there and it’s wonderful. It’s so exciting to be able to reach people all over the world.
[00:29:50] Amardeep: And the final thing to wrap up with is what’s one small thing that’s brought you joy recently?
[00:29:57] Rachel: You know, I have a couple of different answers for this one. I received an email yesterday from a woman who’d been listening to my podcast and she just recently had to go and get an MRI scan. And she said that she was feeling really nervous and really overwhelmed, and it was quite uncomfortable, and she actually used one of the mindful braiding techniques that I taught her in my course. And she said it helped her feel more grounded and feel more calm and just having something to focus her attention on was really helpful in that moment. So I like getting emails like that just, always makes my day. But I know we were talking before we started recording and I mentioned that I took my dogs outside for a play this morning and it’s really cold outside at the moment. Like it’s kind of spitting rain a little bit and it’s just really fresh, the snow. And the mountains and both the dogs are just like running around and their little ears are flapping in the wind and they’re so cute and just so happy. And I don’t know, just those little moments are so wonderful.
If you’re listening on Apple Podcasts, I’d love it If you could leave me a five star review, it really helps get the message out further. Wherever you’re listening, it would be awesome If you could subscribe and share in your social media channels. If you want to see more of my work and advice, you can find all of the links in the show notes. Thank you again for listening and I hope you have a lovely day.
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